Idiots and Lies
by Pottergirl3333
Summary: The aftermath of Amy and Ricky's argument in the season finale. One-shot.


Idiots and Lies

_Disclaimer: I do not own The Secret Life of the American Teenager, and with some of the dumb things that happened on that show I'm glad I don't. _

Ricky was sitting on the couch, tears still slowly and silently streaming down his face. John had finally cried himself to sleep in his father's lap. John's face was red and puffy, and the pain of his mother leaving him etched so clearly on his face that it made Ricky physically ache. "_How could I just let her leave? Why didn't I just tell her that I'm madly in love with her? How could I just let her think that I only wanted to marry her because of John?_" Ricky thought over and over. It was like a broken record playing inside his head. One he knew all the answers to, but didn't want to admit to himself or to anyone else.

Just as Ricky was about to put John to bed, there was a soft knock on the door. Gently sliding John off his lap, Ricky stood. He couldn't help wondering who in the world would be stopping by this late at night. Maybe it was Ben coming to gloat. Ricky walked to the door and opened it, without even bothering to try to look like he was fine. To his complete and utter surprise, Amy stood in front of him. Her face was red and puffy like his own, with mascara rolling down her cheeks. Behind her was the bags she had packed a few hours before. The two just stared at each other for a minute before speaking at the same time.

"I'm an idiot," Amy admitted.

"What are you doing? You're suppose to be on a plane!" Ricky demanded.

Amy gave a slight watery chuckle, and Ricky nodded absentmindedly to her confession.

"I couldn't go," Amy answered, softly. Her eyes wandered to where their son lay on the couch.

"John will be glad to hear that," Ricky replied, following her glaze.

"And what about you?" Amy asked, turning to look into his eyes.

"I'm happy, too, for John's sake," Ricky said, looking at the wall behind Amy. He couldn't stand to look at her. He was afraid he'd start crying again.

"We need to stop hiding behind John," Amy told him.

Ricky's eyes snapped up to meet her's, "What do you mean?"

Amy took a moment before responding, carefully choosing her words. "I mean that we need to stop using John as our reason for everything, and be honest with ourselves and each other. I'm not saying that John doesn't play a huge part in every decision we make, but that doesn't mean we should make him our only reason."

"Isn't that why you left?" Ricky meant to snap, but his voice came out broken.

Amy bit her lip, as her eyes filled up with tears, "No, I left because I was scared."

Ricky forced a humorless laugh, "Of what?"

"Of you only staying with me because of John. Of myself being madly in love with you. Of missing out on the opportunities everyone else has. Of you leaving me. I can go on if you like?" Amy offered.

Ricky shook his head, feeling like he'd just been punched in the gut. "You said you weren't in love with me."

"I never said that," Amy sniffled, fighting back tears.

Ricky wanted to scream, but he knew he couldn't without waking up and upsetting John. He forced himself to take deep breaths until he could trust himself to speak. "You told me that you deserved to be madly in love with whomever you marry," Ricky said, voice shaking from anger.

Amy shook her head, as tears starting trailing down her face, "I said that you deserved to be madly in love with whomever you marry."

Ricky stared at her in shock, "What are you saying, Amy?"

"I'm saying that I am madly in love with you, Ricky Underwood, and I have been for years."

"And you left because you think I'm not madly in love with you?" Ricky scoffed.

"Well, it's true isn't it?" Amy shrugged, forcing herself to look Ricky in the eye.

Ricky shook his head, "No, it's not. I'm madly in love with you Amy Jurgens, and I don't want to marry you because of John. I want to marry you because I'm in love with you."

"Then why'd you tell Lauren and Madison it was just because of John? Why didn't you stop me?" Amy pleaded.

Ricky scrunched his face up trying not to cry. "You think I haven't been asking myself that since you walked out the door?" Ricky asked, shaking his head.

"I need a real answer Ricky!" Amy cried, throwing her hands in the air.

"Because I'm scared, too! I'm scared that you are going to leave me and John for New York, and then we'll never see you again! I'm scared because I've never loved or cared about anyone like I have you and John, and I don't want to lose either of you! I'm scared that you would stay here and resent both of us! I'm scared of everything that I'm never going to have the chance to do! You're not the only one having to give up things, Amy!" Ricky whisper shouted.

"I know, Ricky, and I feel so selfish all the time," Amy admitted.

"A selfish person wouldn't have come back," Ricky told her.

"I'm here because of you as much as I am for John," Amy reminded him.

"I love you, Amy. I'm madly in love with you, and I don't want you to go to New York," Ricky said.

Amy smiled softly at him, "I'm madly in love with you, Ricky, and I'm not going to New York unless you and John come with me."

"I don't want to go to New York, Amy," Ricky sighed.

"Then we'll stay here, and I'll go to college with you," Amy said.

"You don't have to that," Ricky said.

"Yes, I do. I love you and John, and I would hate New York without the two people that matter most to me," Amy replied.

"So you're just going to move back in?" Ricky asked.

"Do you even want me here?" Amy wondered out loud.

"I'll always want you here," Ricky promised with a small smile.

Amy returned it, before it slowly slide of her face, "But I don't want to get married. I mean I do, just not now."

Ricky nodded, "We should wait until we're both ready."

"We need to get over being so scared, because I can never just leave you and John and never come back," Amy said, hurt seeping in her voice.

"And I'm never going to be with you just because of John," Ricky said.

Amy nodded, "We still have a lot of growing to do before we get married."

"Yeah, we do," Ricky agreed, reaching for her hand.

Amy took his hand and squeezed it, "But we'll be okay."

Ricky smiled at her, "Yeah, we will."

_AN: So I started this months ago after I binge watched The Secret Life for the first time to help me deal with the finale. I just found it on my computer, finished it, and decided to post it. Thanks for reading!_


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